Cowboys Preview

I’ve never put much stock into the preseason like many Cowboys’ faithful tend to do.  So when the team goes 3-1 it tends to make the masses stand and proclaim with clenched fists “this is our year” only to be snapped back to reality once the regular season gets underway. 

 

The major difference between this year and many others is the question marks didn’t wait to appear in the stretch run during the season; they popped up before the team ever put on pads and never left.

From the offensive line that consists of four guys and Tyron Smith, a receiving corps full of bad legs and a shoddy spleen, it is fairly obvious that this team is going to struggle mightily from beginning to end.  At least on every team there is a bright spot on one side of the ball be it the defensive unit, special teams or offense.  The Cowboys have neither.

The defense is going into the season beat up as defensive stalwarts DeMarcus Ware and Jay Ratliff have missed time due to injuries and Mike Jenkins is involved in a kerfuffle in the secondary.  Even with the addition of Brandon Carr and Morris Claiborne, the only thing good that has happened to the defense is the subtraction of Dave Campo and defensive liability Terence Newman.  

Cowboys’ fans best bet is to hope a full training camp with Rob Ryan will make at least one facet of the team competitive but then again we’ve been fooled before.  And as long as the General Manager and the Owner are making the decisions, not to mention a subpar head coach, the ‘Boys are in for another disappointing season.  The schedule for the team is brutal and making the playoffs, in my opinion is nothing more than a pipedream.  Hell, getting to .500 is going to be a chore for this team. 

 

So in the interests of sparing you all the grief of watching a hopeless season—hanging on every pass and catch while clinging to the hope that your team will do something great when in reality they are a has-been team that is doing nothing more than masquerading as good team—I have decided to run through the schedule for you and give you the results as they came to me during my last alcohol-fueled bender.

Warning:  This is not for the faint of heart.

Week 1 Cowboys @ Giants

Jerry promised during training camp festivities that some ass would be kicked in Week 1.  Unfortunately for Jones someone forgot to tell him that he was not playing a high school team in the season opener.  He was also unaware that his team would suck worse at the end of training camp and injuries would be the 53^rd member of the roster.  The Giants have somewhat responded to Jones prediction but there is nothing that can be said that will explain the beating the Cowboys will take from the defending champs.  The Giants might even kill someone that game.  I’m not joking.  They do after all have freaking Hannibal Lecter on their team.

Giants 45, Cowboys 9

Week 2 Cowboys @ Seahawks

I initially had this penciled in as a win but the Hags used logic and common sense and promoted a real difference maker at quarterback.  The Cowboys’ defense will still be searching for an identity and Romo will be in the process of looking for a third option since the Giants will have most likely murdered a receiver.  Russell Wilson will run roughshod on the defense and will inspire the Seattle faithful to believe they are a team on the rise.  Unfortunately at the Cowboys expense.

Seahawks 28, Cowboys 11

Week 3 Buccaneers @ Cowboys

Even though I think firing Raheem Morris was a bad idea, the Bucs still have a good young team.  Quarterback Josh Freeman will have a bounce back year as will the rest of the team and will look to show the Cowboys as well as the NFC South that they are a team not to be trifled with.  Kyle Orton may get significant playing time as Romo will become the first player to ever have a concussion just thinking about how bad his offensive line is.

Buccaneers 26, Cowboys 10

Week 4 Bears @ Cowboys

Have you ever seen Pulp Fiction?  Have you ever watched the scene where Zed is (ahem) fondling Marsellus Wallace in the basement?  Well Brian Urlacher is Zed and the entire Bears defense is the Gimp watching the action.  The Cowboys only recourse is to just take it, ball-gag in mouth and hope that no one repeats what they saw.

Bears 35, Cowboys 10

Week 5 Bye

After five weeks of agony, the Cowboys finally get a chance to lick their wounds and get some much needed rest.  Unfortunately for them they are 0-4 and soon discover that they are the only team in the history of the NFL to lose to the Bye Week moving their record to 0-5 by the time they resume play.

Week 6 Cowboys @ Ravens

The debate over whether Joe Flacco is a top quarterback in the league is out the window this week as the Cowboys come into town after their most recent defeat to Team Bye.  Most of the injured players on the team have returned and even TE Jason Whitten will be healed enough to play and be hospitalized after the first series.  Romo will have 200 yards rushing due to the offensive line refusing to get off the plane.  Romo will pass for 300 yards and 3 TDs, unfortunately two of them will be to #20, Ed Reed.

Ravens 45, Cowboys 10

Week 7 Cowboys @ Panthers

Everyone stumbles throughout the season and this is the game the red-hot Panthers hit their bump in the road.  After six straight weeks of smash mouth football, they will be mentally drained when the two teams meet.  Cam Newton will make a few sophomore mistakes and the defense will take advantage.  Brandon Carr will be the catalyst of the defense and will single handedly win the game with 2 interceptions, one returned for a score, three forced fumbles and one touchdown reception due to the lack of depth in the Cowboys receiving corps.

Cowboys 38, Panthers 14

Week 8 Cowboys @ Giants

Different city, same teams, nearly same results.  In the week leading up to the game, Jones will utter the famous line, “They won’t kick our ass as bad this time” to which he is corrected when the Giants decide to rush 11 the entire game just to prove a point.  Manning will throw for 586 yards with 5 TDs and 2 interceptions—only because he gets tired of throwing to his own guys.  With the game well in hand, the giants will pull the first team off the field and will replace them with the New York Knicks.  They will score often.

Giants 68, Knicks 21, Cowboys 12

Week 9 Cowboys @ Falcons

After the Knicks debacle, the Cowboys travel to Atlanta to take on another formidable opponent in the Falcons.  The Falcons, much like the Panthers, fall victim to the trap game as Coach Mike Smith doesn’t even play his starters so they can attend Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat showing for one night only.  Smith underestimates the desperation the Cowboys have as they win on a time expiring touchdown pass to Jay Novacek from Jason Garrett.

Dallas 10, Falcons 7 

Week 10 Cowboys @ Eagles

Eagles’ fans and the Cowboys have two things in common; they are trash.  And nothing will epitomize the evening more than when newly reinstated quarterback Tony Romo throws a Hail Mary pass to Michael Irvin in the corner of the end zone, he is upended and falls on his neck for the second time in his career.  Eagles’ fans of course boo and the Cowboys cannot get back on track and end up running the ball for the remainder of the game.  During one play from scrimmage, the Eagles show a hologram of Reggie White on the sidelines and Romo fumbles the hand off to DeMarco Murray.

Eagles 35, Cowboys 3        

Week 11 Browns @ Cowboys

What can Brown do for you?  Everything as they come into town at just the right time.  Quarterback Brandon Wheedon and running back Trent Richardson are still a year away and their inept play will show in Arlington.  The Cowboys will roll over the Browns and celebrate their victory as if they won the Super Bowl.  Unfortunately that will be the closest they ever come to the big game.

Cowboys 33, Browns 12

Week 12 Redskins @ Cowboys

Even though I hate the Redskins and Mike Shanahan, I can’t help but like RG III and what he can do for the team.  In a battle of the third best team in the NFC East, the ‘Skins will get the edge as RG III’s dynamic play will have the Cowboys defense saying “wow” and standing and watching—while they are on the field.  Also, for one week only, the Cowboys re-sign Terrence Newman just so Santana Moss can make the Pro Bowl.  He is released after the game after giving up two touchdowns, 275 yards and the obligatory flailing of the arms and blaming other teammates who are nowhere in the vicinity.

Redskins 48, Cowboys 21   

Week 13 Eagles @ Cowboys

The Cowboys come into this game with a renewed sense of vigor and clamoring for revenge.  Jerry Jones tries to hype the team up with “Remember Michael Irvin” chants to which the younger players reply “who?”  The Eagles enter the game without Michael Vick who is suspended for fighting a dog.  He literally punches a dog in the face as he finds his neighbor, a Cowboy fan, has allowed his dog to defecate on his lawn.  Vick spends the entire week apologizing personally to Sarah McLachlan who in turn makes him sing a duet that makes us all want to punch her in the back.

Cowboys 35, Eagles 26

 

Week 14 Cowboys @ Bengals

The ‘Boys come out strong this week matching the Bengals yard for yard, point for point and defensive stop for defensive stop for the first two quarters.  Everything appears to be going smoothly for the team until Pac-Man Jones has had enough of his former team and pulls a gun on Miles Austin just as he is about to step into the end zone.  Austin “fumbles” and the ball is returned for the game-winning touchdown by newly re-acquired corner back Terence Newman.

Bengals 28, Cowboys 21 

Week 15 Cowboys @ Steelers

Four words:  James Harrison/Troy Polamalu.  When injured, the Steelers are a different team.  They struggle on defense and somehow it transfers to the offense.  This game, whether injured or not, these two will play.  Jerry will find a way to slip up from his crypt and say something about championships that will become bulletin board material.  Polamalu will have 47 tackles and Harrison will send $100,000 to the league office with a note that simply says “For what I’m about to do.”  It is later discovered that someone on the offensive line with the initials D.F. has also paid a Steelers d-lineman to help them block Harrison.  At the conclusion of the game, Romo files a lawsuit against God and the schedule makers.

Steelers 36, Cowboys -3 

Week 16 Saints @ Cowboys

It’s almost over.  The Cowboys at this point are looking forward to the offseason and a story has leaked that a petition has gone around the locker room suggesting the team quit early.  Surprisingly, Coach Garrett’s signature is the second on the list, right behind Rowdy and just before Crazy Ray's.  Jones calls a team meeting and informs them that if they do not take the field, he will cancel Christmas.  The team reluctantly suits up and plays the game and plays well.  Offensive Coordinator Bill Callahan takes over play-calling duty as Garrett is too drunk and doesn’t care.  He is seen stumbling on the sidelines and when he sees Santa in the crowd, he attempts to charge into the stands only to be restrained by two Cowboys cheerleaders.  He is placed into a choke-hold and falls asleep in Felix Jones’ lap.

Cowboys 21, Saints 13  

Week 17 Cowboys @ Redskins

The Redskins have been trending upward throughout the season.  After several of the Cowboys’ players remark about how much they would love to have RG III on their team, they also realize they would like to not let their envy of him come between winning the season finale. Once again Callahan calls the plays and is auditioning for the “speculated” head coaching job.  The team gives it their all and wins the game handedly limiting the Redskins to only 700 total yards.  

Cowboys 51, Redskins 42

Garrett is dismissed after a 7-10 season and leaves Valley Ranch in a drunken rage.  He is last seen running around the compound wearing one of Jerry’s old faces and holding the caramelized leg of Crazy Ray while singing the Princeton fight song.  Jerry Jones announces that he will become the interim coach until his goat heart weakens.  The Cowboys receive a top five pick in the 2013 draft but immediately Jones elects to trade it for Randy Moss, Roy Williams and a has been to be named later.

BOOMER SOONER!!!

The 2011 campaign started promising for the Oklahoma Sooners.  The team was ranked #1 at the outset of the season and appeared to be heading for another remarkable run until reality set in.  And that reality was the Big 12 was going to be more competitive than it had been in years.

Unbeknownst to Sooner fans, the conference would have three teams ranked in the top 25 by years end with each one having a legitimate chance to win the conference.  Oklahoma started out strong through the first three games, retaining the nation’s top spot but fell to number three due to stronger schedules at other schools.  The Sooners had chances to move up in the standings but losses to Texas Tech at home, Baylor in Waco and interstate rival Oklahoma State in Stillwater epitomized what has been wrong with Oklahoma for a number of years—the offense is Oklahoma’s best defense.

Since the departure of Mike Stoops, the team’s defense has been shoddy at best.  The offense can score but the defense seems to have adopted a break but don’t bend mentality that has cost the team in big games for the last 10 years.  The defense has to get significantly better if they want to have a chance to compete not for a national title, but just to be the best school in the Big 12.  With the addition of West Virginia and TCU, the competition is going to get a lot more daunting.

OFFENSE

How hot can OU get this year?

Last season, the Sooners offense was clicking on all cylinders.  They were ranked 5^th in the nation in passing (349 ypg) and 10^th in scoring (39.5 ppg).  They were only ranked 50^th in rushing (162.9 ypg) but that is to be expected when a team runs a spread offense.

Quarterback Landry Jones was once again a Heisman hopeful until his team suffered devastating losses midseason coupled with the fact that he was overshadowed in his own conference by phenom and future first round pick Robert Griffin III.  Although he wasn’t totally at fault, he lost games that mattered and made untimely mistakes.  He couldn’t get his offense going in the season finale against State and the team scored only 10 points in the game.

Jones completed 63 percent of his passes (355/562), amassed 4463 yards with 29 touchdowns and 19 interceptions.  But if jones wants to reach the promised land this year, he is going to have to find some consistency with a few new faces.

His go to receiver Ryan Broyles (83-1157-10) has since departed for the NFL.  Jones got a taste of what life would be like without Broyles after he tore his ACL in the win over A&M last November.  Jones struggled to find a suitable passing partner contributing to losses in two of the final three games of the season.  

Kenny Stills (61-841-8) is the one returning receiver with whom Jones has developed something of a relationship.  Jaz Reynolds (41-715-5) was looking to be the second or third option in the pass-happy offense but undisclosed violations of team rules in May will cost him and Trey Franks “multiple games” according to Coach Bob Stoops.  Penn State transfer Justin Brown could be a welcome addition to the offense provided he can get on the same page with Jones and do it quickly.  The 6-3, 214 junior had 35 receptions, 517 yards and 2 TDs with the Nittany Lions last year.  He is looking for a place to showcase his skills and with the lack of depth, not to mention maturity within the receiving corps; he may have just landed in the perfect place.  If he is even halfway decent, he will get the ball plenty.   

  

The offensive line could use some work and veteran leadership.  The team looked great when it played lesser talent and vulnerable when it actually had to grind games out.  The front line will be without starting center Ben Habern due to lingering injures as well as back-up lineman Dylan Dismuke.  Both have declined to return to the team.  Transfers meant to shore up the line, Courtney Gardner and Will Latu, were unable to make it into school leaving Jones protection questionable at best. 

The need to improve the running game is a must in order to take heat off of Jones and the passing game, but it all starts with the line.  OU must do better than 50^th in rushing this season to compete in a conference that has six teams ranked in the top 25.  

The Sooners hope to fortify their offense with the additions of top prep wide-out Trey Metoyer, and highly ranked receivers Derron Neal (#62) and Sterling Shepard (#131).  More than likely Stoops would like to keep these kids on the shelf but with the need to win now and the lack of depth in the receiving corps, they may find themselves on the field sooner rather than later. 

DEFENSE

This unit has been the weakest part of this team for nearly a decade.  Since the departure of Mike Stoops, there has been a slow roll toward mediocrity and the team has yet to get out of the funk.  In the three losses in 2011, the defense gave up 130 points while the offense was only able to muster 86 points.  That is a 44 point differential that cannot be duplicated or tolerated this season.

The key to the defensive reemergence is how well the coaching staff finds replacements for the team’s key contributors from 2011 to help the nine returning starters from last year’s unit.  Gone are LB Travis Lewis, DEs Frank Alexander and Ronnell Lewis.  Of the nine committees in this year’s recruiting class (top #250), only one Eric Striker (#243) was a defensive player which seems to point to the Sooners looking to build from within.  If the same coaching staff was in place, it would give one reason to worry but DC Stoops should be able to give this unit a jolt and make them formidable once more.

The Sooners should make great strides in total defense (#55/376 ypg), scoring defense (#31/22 ppg), passing defense (#79/241 ypg) and rushing defense (#43/134 ypg).  It’s not about the players, it’s about the system and the coaching and Stoops will be coaching for a chance to get another head coaching job and will not let this unit falter.  Look for the Sooners defense to lead the way in 2012.

COACHING

Bob Stoops is one of the top 5 coaches in the country.  Since the Sooners National Championship in 2000, the university is a lock every in preseason poll to have a chance at dethroning the SEC as the keepers of the BCS Championship.  For all the accolades and the bridesmaid finishes in years past (2003, 2004 and 2008) this is the year the Sooners can take it over the top.  

The one constant criticism of Stoops has been his penchant for taking chances at inopportune times.  A pass on the 1 yard-line here or a fake punt in your own territory there are the kinds of decisions that have driven fans crazy.  With the re-addition of brother Stoops, some of the pressure should be taken off the head coach and perhaps some of the foolish decisions that cost them games can be minimized or eliminated.

OUTLOOK

The 2011 season had every Sooner fan packing for the short drive to New Orleans for the National Championship.  What no one foresaw was a team that would lose its most dependable receiving threat, two losses to teams the Sooners normally beat blindfolded and a complete give up at season’s end to a determined Oklahoma State squad.   It was bad all around and to add insult to injury, the Sooners had to watch Oklahoma State, Kansas and Baylor play in better bowls while the trudged around in the Insight Bowl.

Oklahoma finished ranked 15^th in the nation; one spot above Kansas State but behind Baylor (#12) and Oklahoma State (#3).  The Sooners look to avoid repeating the same outcome as last year and should welcome a #4 preseason ranking to ease some of the pressure and ensure they retain their focus.  However the road won’t be easy.

Some saw the loss of Texas A&M as a significant blow to the conference as it was seen as a precursor for the disbanding of the Big 12.  But a few shrewd moves by the interim commissioner saw the addition of West Virginia and TCU.  Both teams will add significant luster to the conference and make for some interesting contests.  

Of the 10 teams in the conference, six teams (W. Virginia #11, Texas #15, TCU #17, Oklahoma St. #19, Kansas State #21) are ranked.  In addition to their conference foes, Oklahoma will also play #24 Notre Dame in Norman who by that time may be moved up in the rankings.  If OU can run the table it will be nearly impossible to deny them another national title chance at season’s end.  

But if they stumble out of the gate, it’s going to be another long season.  

  

Beware the Beaver (A.K.A. Natures Bob the Builder with Rabies)

     It’s been nearly two weeks since the Freeh report was announced and it seems like there is no other topics in the world to discuss.  With all the drama surrounding Rape State University in Pennsylvania, I figured we had all suffered a great deal of overload and thus I came to the decision to spare you all any more discussion on the matter and look at other newsworthy events that have happened since. 

     Of course there was shooting in Aurora, Colorado (shout out to Wayne and Garth) and the escalating turmoil in Syria.  The Summer Olympics are set to begin in England and that also happens to be the place where Republican Presidential candidate Mitt Romney decided to drop in and basically tell Olympic organizers to go screw themselves.  We even found out that the Florida Face-Eater wasn’t really on bath salts; he had just heard white people tasted like chicken.  And we all know the best place to eat chicken is on a causeway in the middle of the day totally nude.

     Yes there has been so much going on over the last two weeks it would have your head spinning if you tried to keep up with it all.  But in the midst of all this chaos there was one overlooked story that could very well affect you at some point in your life if you are not careful.  That story involves two sisters, water and a sick, deranged, angry beaver that would not be tamed merely by petting.

     Annabella and Alyssa Radnovich were swimming in Virginia’s Lake Anna when they were accosted by a feral blood thirsty beaver set on exacting revenge for many years of human interference with the beaver community’s civil engineering projects.  The sisters stated they were enjoying an afternoon dip when they felt scratches and bites on their legs and feet.  Alyssa fled the water while Annabella stayed in.  They each had tried to push the unknown entity away but it became more aggressive with each spurned advance. 

     After one final attempt to shoo the animal away, Annabella decided to leave the water.  But as she was climbing out the now surfaced mammal bit her on the leg.  The result was 15 stitches for Alyssa, bandages for Annabella and shots for both as they later found out the beaver was suffering from complications of hysteria, social anxiety disorder and a touch of rabies.  He also suffered from an acute case of death as one of the family members shot the distressed creature with a BB gun and stabbed it with a knife.

This whole episode got me to thinking about beaver attacks and how people should respond to them.  Do they know how or what to do if approached by a one?  According to one website that doesn’t exist, there are countless unreported attacks throughout the United States each year.  And it easy to say that the number could very well be in the millions but some victims, especially males, are too ashamed to admit that they have been assaulted by a beaver. 

     So I decided that now, for humanity’s sake it’s time for someone to put out some tips on what to do when approached or faced with an agitated, unruly beaver.

1.   First and foremost, remain calm.  A startled beaver can become a dangerous beaver in a matter of seconds.  Be cautious of a wet or soggy beaver as it may sensitive to touch and may want to be left alone until its full senses return.  Some beavers may just want a little attention and if they do approach you can be soothed with gentle petting and some Barry White or Al Green.  Never startle it with quick gestures or trying to probe or poke it.

2.   This leads to the second and almost equally important tip; never come at a beaver too fast.  It has to come on its own.  Treats like strawberries, chocolate and Moscato are helpful in getting it to come in a timely and safe fashion.

3.    Once you have established a non-threatening relationship with a beaver and it becomes comfortable with you, feel free to give the beaver lumber as a peace offering.  According to mammalogists, the best time to give it wood is in the morning.

4.   One of the questions many have asked is “is it wise to let a beaver near your face?”  The answer surprisingly is yes.  Once a rapport is established it is not at all uncommon to have an adult beaver nestle against your face.  You will find that if blown on, they are very ticklish.  

5.   Something one should always remember about the beaver is it is unpredictable.  The best way to let a beaver you’ve created a relationship with know it can be comfortable around you is to give it constant attention.  If it comes to you, remember to rub it frequently.  If it becomes apprehensive, rub it with two fingers slowly to calm it down.  Occasionally a beaver can become excited and unpredictable so varying your movements is wise.  Remember that when rubbing a beaver, never use three fingers.  You could shock the beaver and that may lead to it tensing up and attacking.

6.   And finally, regardless of the things I have pointed out, nothing can replace common sense.  Under no circumstance should one ever approach a wounded or bloody beaver.  There could be a myriad of issues regarding its injuries and it’s safe to just keep your distance.  According to mammalogists Dr. Viggo von Playtex, the best thing to do is have patience.  “I have found the best way to deal with a beaver…especially one I know is to lay down a cotton pallet in its habitat and let it rest for 3-7 days,” he said.  “Don’t engage it, don’t touch it; better yet don’t go anywhere near it.  It will save you a lot of headache and heartache in the long run.”

     Hopefully this advice will serve you well as you finish out the summer.  I just would hate to have this knowledge about these creatures and not share it with you to ensure you have a safe, fun and stress free summer.

     Just keep an eye out for the wild tube snakes. 

   

PENN(ITENTIARY) STATE

Mark Emmert has a problem.  Actually that’s putting it mildly.  A problem is what is the answer to 2+2 or which tie do I wear to a press conference? 

Emmert is faced with a disaster of epic proportions as well as a PR nightmare regardless of what he chooses because the biggest scandal in college football history has just landed on his desk.  Actually it had been on his desk he had been busy trying as hard as he could to let another entity (local law enforcement) deal with it.  Regardless, try as he might to avoid it for this long but everyone knew eventually he was going to have to weigh in on the Penn State catastrophe orchestrated by sexual deviant Jerry Sandusky and cohorts at the university.

 See for those of you who don’t know, Mark Emmert is the president of the NCAA, one of the weakest, most dysfunctional, bi-polar outfits in the country.  He’s the leader of a consortium that rarely sees eye to eye with the fans and puts dollars first while claiming everything they do is for the good of the student athlete—from standing firm against a real playoff, to denying athletes the opportunity to increase their personal revenue by paying them higher stipends, to not allowing them to transfer when their coaches violates their universities’ trust.  So if we want to say the office of the NCAA president is in it for the greater good, I’m truly sorry to tell you this but that ship sailed long ago in the dead of night  and only daydreamers and fools occupied the decks as it headed for the iceberg.

But for all the failings the president has had, and all of the decisions he and others that came before have tried to avoid or showed absolute prejudice in favor of the “money-maker “ institutions, this whole fiasco with Penn State  can give him the opportunity to make people not look at the NCAA as the joke it has become.  But I have a feeling Emmert won’t make the obvious choice and will attempt to pass the buck as he has done in the past.

For nearly eight months former FBI Director Louis Freeh and his team pored over countless documents, interviewed hundreds of individuals and read numerous emails pertaining to the child molestation charges.  Freeh linked every person who claimed to not have known anything, from Joe Paterno to University President Graham Spanier and many individuals in between in some way to covering up various aspects of the sordid Sandusky affair.  Freeh’s report read like a graphic horror novella and for many of us, it was more than we wanted to believe.  Paterno, who once stated he could never retire leaving football to the likes of Barry Switzer and Jackie Sherrill ended up being worse than two of college football’s most notorious repeat offenders.  Actually, worse is an understatement.

And as Freeh read the report, word for word, line by line, the luster that once engulfed the legacy of Jo-Pa slowly faded until it was nothing more than a fuzzy haze barely visible to even the staunchest of defenders.  He explained how Paterno knew about the investigation into Sandusky’s disgusting behavior as early as 1998-99 just before Sandusky was allowed to retire and keep an office just feet away from Paterno.  We found out that Paterno had shared emails with higher ups regarding Sandusky and how they all decided to make sure he was treated humanely despite the fact the man was raping children on the campus of the school.  That statement alone should have Emmert not wondering if he should employ the Death Penalty, rather it should have him deciding how soon and how long it should be.  Some have chimed in regarding what punishments should be levied against the school, the most recent being Alabama’s Nick Saban.  Saban stated he thought that if the school were to maintain a program this season, they should levy a tax on top of the regular ticket price.  That tax, he suggested, would go to the victims to help them heal and help them financially, but it seems more like it is penalizing the ticketholders while the actual perpetrators are so far, getting off scot free.

If there was ever a reason to completely destroy a school program this is it.  There are no mitigating circumstances that can be produced and there is no reason to invoke the student athlete as an excuse to keep football alive this year. 

So here is my quick and unflinching solution to the imbroglio:

We all know the students had nothing to do with it but the people that were in charge did.  The students are smart enough to understand that they are not being punished and should be reassured of that by being allowed to transfer immediately and be able to play this year.

Scholarships should go next—all of them.  They could be reinstated by 25 percent every year so that by 2016 they should be back at 100 percent.  It may seem drastic but hell it’s nothing compared to being penetrated in a shower by someone you trust and being betrayed by people you would hope had your (the victim) best interest in mind.    They did not.  All they apparently cared about was the money coming into the program and the wins they would tally as the university looked to make Paterno the winningest coach in FBS History.

I would love to say that I think the school gets it by removing Paterno’s name off the child development center but it wasn’t their decision.  It was self proclaimed idolizer and CEO of Nike Phil Knight who made the painful but correct decision to change the name in order to begin the healing.  It’s too bad the university cannot do the same thing and remove the statue next to Beaver Stadium.

This would set a precedent like no other in the history of the NCAA.  I doubt there will ever be anything like this happening again but what this does is set a precedent for even the most mundane of cheaters.  It puts real power back into the hands of the president’s office and places real fear in the larger programs across the country that have basically been acting with impunity since the destruction of Southern Methodist University in the late ‘80s.   Their infractions pale in comparison to the scandal at Penn.

This is lack of intuitional control at the highest level and to the very definition.  There is no alternative other than to dissolve the program immediately in order to start healing.  The victims and their families deserve that much.

I hope Emmert has the stones to do what’s right, otherwise he’s putting these victims through the same hell all over again.       

Enjoy the Ride

Ask any true baseball fan about the grind of an MLB season and they will all come to the same consensus in regards to any of the30 teams in the show; baseball season ebbs and flows.  There are times when the tide of adversity rears its head and teams struggle.  This happens to even the best of teams. 

But there are also times when the sun emerges from behind an ominous gray sky, the clouds clear and winning can be seen on the horizon. 

No team epitomizes this analogy like the Texas Rangers.  My mistake, I meant to say the first place Texas Rangers…as in all of baseball.  

With a 47-28 record, it wouldn’t seem like the club’s fan base would have that much to be pessimistic about.  But in a sports town with fans that have suddenly, for a lack of better words, developed a sense of entitlement after seeing its basketball team win the finals last season and witnessing the baseball club appear in back-to-back World Series there seems to be a shortage of patience and an increase in ridiculous expectations.

What “regular” or bandwagon fans fail to realize is that in the course of a 162 game season, your team will lose.  The will lose a lot.  No one will ever go 162-0 or 152-10 as I predicted but they will lose some games.  The Rangers will most likely lose about 50-60 games this season, but that is still 112-102 wins.  They are 76 games into their season and have lost just 28 games.  If they match this record for the next 76 games, they will be at 94-56 with 12 games to play and yet someone will still argue about some call the sipper makes or some move the GM didn’t make in some mundane scenario that will have bearing only to the Skip Baylesses of the metroplex.

The team is less than a year removed from their last WS appearance and the haters are still questioning the leadership of the club.  Rangers manager Ron Washington is still viewed by some as a guy just along for the ride…eating seeds and hugging Jackie Moore after every victory.  They decry the fact that he will not tinker with a lineup that for the most part has been the same for the past two years the victories have increased.  Did I mention that they were in the World Series?

But an average May record and two series losses in the beginning of June to division rivals had some of Wash’s and the team’s detractors crying that the tea was in a tail spin and big changes had to be made.  They didn’t take into account that the rotation and its replacements were dropping like flies.   Key sections of the offense went through slumps to which they are just beginning to break out of now.  The fans had become spoiled because they were treated to an exciting opening month.  Coming back to reality was like a hard crash after an all-night bender at a gay bar-it was unbelievable. 

The team was 14-13 in May and played some atrocious baseball but they also learned from their mistakes which translated into June.  While the pretenders like the Athletics, Mariners, Blue Jays and Rays (God I hate the Rays) remembered who they were, the Rangers remained calm and played one game at a time.  June started off with a 4-6 record only to see the team go 12-3 and winning six straight series, sweeping two in the process.  They are currently 16-9 with the A’s in town tonight as they look to extend their lead over division rival LA Angels who have been in the Rangers rear-view but have been closing fast.    

Fans need to have faith in our team, our manager and our front office.  They have proven over the last two years that they have a plan and are sticking to it.  Fans need to understand that injuries happen, teams have losing streaks, players can’t hit the broad side of a barn, managers make dumb decisions and some acquisitions don’t always pan out.  But for about 35 years we wished we had the problems we have now.  The only conversation fans had about Rangers’ players in the playoffs was when they were being watched on other teams. 

Fans need to return the patient fans they were when the Rangers were losing, couldn’t pitch or manufacture runs and enjoy what they are witnessing every day no matter the outcome.  Otherwise, we are just Yankee fans.

Let’s go Rangers

If the first month of 2012 MLB season has been any indication of what’s in store for metroplex sports fans, then by all means we’re in for one hell of a ride: one that may surpass the accomplishments of the ‘90s Cowboys, 2011 Mavericks and 2000 Stars.

  For the first time in ever, and I’m taking into account the success of the Rangers over the course of the past two seasons, our baseball team seems poised to dominate the baseball landscape from now to game 162.  And if things keep going the way they are, possibly to game 181.  The Rangers three weeks into the season and are already up 7 games on the division rival LA Angels.  Pujols isn’t hitting anywhere near his contract worth and CJ Wilson has already accumulated two losses on the season which is a direct result of the aforementioned Pujols’ anemic showing at the plate as well as defensive lapses and all around team suckiness.

All the Rangers have done is win behind stellar pitching efforts from all five starters (even ace Colby Lewis) and the only staff member with two losses is closer Joe Nathan who is still a work in progress.  We all got a glimpse of the greatness Yu Darvish possesses after his fifth start.  He seems to get stronger, confident and is gaining command of his pitches with each outing. 

Then there’s the offensive output.  Even when the team is behind, no pitcher can rest easy.  Hamilton is on fire, Young is doing what he does, Andrus is displaying remarkable patience at the plate and glimpses of power and Kinsler gets everything going from the leadoff spot.  The top of the lineup does so much damage that we forget that the bottom is struggling.  But the strength of the team is they find ways to win and rely on guys considered afterthoughts to deliver.  Snyder and Gonzales are picking up hitting slack while Cruz, Napoli, Moreland and Torrealba are trying to figure out their swings.

The defense ranks among the top five and Kinsler and Andrus will probably go down as the best defensive tandem in team history.  Once you add Beltre and Mr. Everything in Young, if you’re an opposing hitter you have to pray these guys make an error because if they get their gloves on a ball, you’re as good as done.  Your other option is to hit it over their heads but then you have to deal with Hamilton who can get to everything and Cruz who will gun you down at first given the opportunity. 

Then we get to the bullpen which is easily forgettable because they rarely get into the game.  The offense builds leads so fast that when they do get the occasional appearance it’s usually a spot start in the event of a double header or just to get some late game work because they’ve just been in the bullpen relaxing.  I’d love to have that job.

If the Rangers can find their way back to the Series, then there is no question they would have the best run of a sports team in the metroplex.  You could argue ‘90s Cowboys, but baseball’s season length, combined with the injury factor and the few teams that can actually make the playoffs is what sets them apart from all the rest.

I almost forgot.  I need to adjust my prediction from 152-10 to 142-20.